“Uh...it hurts. It hurts a lot. I’m scared of it, I’m scared of giving birth.” This was the first reply I got when I asked Simone what she thought of birth. My sister has a similar take on the situation, but finds it extremely interesting at the same time, ““I think birth is kind of terrifying still but really interesting. Like there’s a person inside you.” However when I asked my friends Anna and Eileen, the pain of it did not seem to cross their minds, instead they thought more about the nature of it. Anna said, “It’s something that all women should experience. It’s one of the most beautiful things in life. I think what I’m trying to say is that I would be really sad if I couldn’t give birth.” Which I believe is something most women feel, but is not necessarily the first image that comes to mind, especially of someone in their teens. “I guess I never really thought anything of it because it’s pretty normal and an important part of human nature,” was Eileen’s interpretation of the question, which also poses an interesting idea. At this point in our lives, most people are not planning to have children, so it seems far off in the future, just something associated with “human nature.” A lot of times the realization of it however can be a bit disturbing. Simone discussed when she first really thought about birth, “Realizing that I had to push something out of me, like I had to have a full formed baby, and thinking to myself, g*d, I’m never having a baby.” It is a hard thing to comprehend, I believe not only for my own age group, but for anybody. Nothing seems real until it really happens, until you are immersed in it.
After finding out their initial thoughts on birth and how they first heard about it, I went on to ask the appropriate timing for birth. When I asked Simone, she related it in terms to herself, when she felt like she would be ready to have a child: “I think it really depends. My mom had me when she was 36. And honestly it seems to be an appropriate age. She seems to be kind of an older parent, but not really. I think that 36 is a good age...I don’t think before 28 you should have a baby...just in my personal opinion.” She felt that before 28, she would be too immature to have a child and not be able to care for it properly. While believing that a person can have a child at any age, the other three interviewees had the same criteria. Anna said, “I feel like you should be old enough to know what the responsibility is...as long as you feel you’re able to be responsible for someone else’s life.” A person’s age is not the measure of their responsibility in her opinion. As long as the person can care for the child, who is to say they cannot have one? After telling me how she had recently read that Texas was ranked number three for teen pregnancies and number one for duplicate teen pregnancies, my sister stated, “I think that any age is appropriate if you and had the right education round it. A teenager could be a great mom but not like if they’re taught they’re not supposed to have sex.” She found it a bit ironic that Texas preaches abstinence and then had those types of statistics. Eileen’s opinion did seem to lean more towards Simone’s, as she looked at “care” in terms of finances, “I think whenever you are settled with a career and make enough money to support a child and want a child of your own whether you’re married or not.” All three of them seemed to have about the same idea: that age should not be a pronounced factor if the person is mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to have a child.
With age and pregnancy tends to come the discourse around abortion. I asked all four of my interviewees about their views on abortion. All four of them were pro-choice, but what can we really expect when they have all grown up in New York City, an extremely liberal environment. My favorite answer was my sister’s, “I think that anyone who wants to have an abortion and needs to have an abortion should have every amount of access to an abortion that they need and support financially and emotionally...I think that it’s absolutely someone’s choice to bring a child into the world and raise them and getting pregnant...is not exactly a thing where you’re like today I’m going to get knocked up. It can happen in so many...accidental ways. It seems crazy to me that the government wants to cut off things like all kinds of public assistance for single mothers but they won’t legalize abortions. So many single moms, where do you think they come from? They’re poor and they can’t, either can’t afford or have to access to getting an abortion. Then they have a kid that they, sure they love but probably are like, this isn’t the path I saw my life going in.” I think she poses a really interesting point. The government and society shun single motherhood in a lot of cases, but they force these mothers into these situations. Anna shared similar views: “I’m pro-choice so what ever the person wants to do...I wouldn’t be against it because you don’t know what their story is and how they got pregnant.” Everyone has their own individual story and who are we to force them into going through the stressful process of pregnancy if they are not fit emotionally or physically. The trend generally among teens, especially in larger cities, seems to be pro-choice. I wonder if this will end up changing our dominant social practices around birth when our own children are born.
While a lot more was said and asked, I believe the major patterns were highlighted here. Birth can be terrifying, but also an amazing process. There is not right age for birth, only a sense of readiness and when the criteria is not present, abortion should be an acceptable alternative. Teens may not be exposed to birth as much as their superiors, but they have formed opinions through the media and speaking to those whom have gone through the process. “I think my family and probably society/media and how they portray birth in movies and on television,” as Eileen put it. I think to conclude we can really say: “The things that your body does is just so incredible...must be such an incredible time in your life.”
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