Homework #33: Comments Four

From Ben: I liked the way you were able to connect this unit to your thoughts about certain health-related aspects of life in the future. I also really liked the way you used evidence from other peoples blogs in order to support the conclusions of your own opinions. "Our country needs to sort out its priorities." This was a very interesting line to me, because in my opinion, it seems like the country already has sorted out its priorities for health care. They just are not beneficial for most people in America.

From Devin: I think you've summarized the problem areas concerning death and dying in our culture. You are definitely right that socialized medicine is a hard sell in this country, especially when the Republicans are the majority in the House of Representitives. I still hope we come around to having the government pay for health care instead of having it be a means of insurance and drug companies making huge profits. Your other big point about ideally having people feel that they have had fufilled lives so that when they reach the age of 75 or so, they are more accepting of death and their time to go. Staying alive on life support with no quality of life whatsoever is so depressing and such a waste. People should go home to die. Most of us wouldn't put a dying dog on life support. We would just make it as comfortable as possible. I hope everyone will hold me to this belief when my time comes.

From Bjorn (Exchange Student): As a citizen of Sweden with one of the best social health care institution in the world i totally agree with you. As a son of the swedish social democracy I am used to tax paying of swedish citizens to keep the health care going, although as you mention it is questionable whether a people that are used to take care of themselves rather than paying for others ar willing to change.


From Lindsay (Sister): Reading these posts has made me reflect back on when I first started to develop an awareness of the volume of death. The first time I read what has now become one of my favorite books one of the characters reflected,"Awareness is everything...People worry a lot more about the eternity after their deaths than the eternity that happened before they were born. But it's the same amount of infinity, rolling out in all directions from where we stand." 

Making the connection back to everyone in your class considering whether they would be satisfied with their lives with the stories you collected of people nearing the end of their lives, really brings life to the subject.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Ben: I really liked your summary. I think it was nice how you connected it back to the food unit in order to show how the two relate. I agree with you, that it is "sickening" that our health care system has such incentives that it sometimes ignores its own people without them realising. It would be extremely interesting to see how people would react if many more were educated about the American health care system. Perhaps people would want a change, or maybe not.

To Devin: I liked how in your last paragraph you talked about how people should be reacting. I think the big question is, why aren't they? I think though that in America you might come across more people focused on funding the army than their own insurance, because they will take their health for granted. The American mindset at the moment seems to be set more on protecting our "great" country instead of improving it. I wonder if it would be possible to convince the majority otherwise.

Homework #32: Thoughts Following Illness and Dying Unit

            This unit overall was I feel, quite enlightening. I’ve lived across the street from a nursing home for my entire life, but other than that I have rarely come in contact with terminal illness and dying. Therefore I found it intriguing to look deeper into the subject. It seems that, like most of our dominant practices, there is a downside to illness and dying. The ill are sometimes “ill” catered to and ignored. Because of the American health care system, those who need the most insurance are denied, all because of profit incentives. After watching Sicko, I was thoroughly convinced of socialized medicine as the answer to our problems, as Michael Moore intended. After reading Ben’s further research, it does seem like it would be more beneficial than our current health care system. However, I am not sure if it is molded for the controversial opinions of Americans.

            Aside from the health care debate, this unit pushed towards the enjoyment of life. Reading all of the packets about death anxiety and dying in a hospital, it seemed that those who most welcomed death felt that they had lived fulfilled lives. When asked in class if we would be satisfied with our lives if we were to die at that instant, barely anyone raised their hand. Maybe it would have been nice if someone brought up that point earlier, but then again, it is not too late, we’re young. And then again, dying in a hospital seemed to bring on so much more suffering, why is that? A hospital is a place you go to get well, it would seem that if they could not make you well, they would still attempt to make your situation as comfortable as possible, but they do not. We waste so much of our money on trying to keep people alive who have no chance instead of helping those who die of curable diseases. Our country needs to sort out its priorities. Maybe if people were more accepting of death, or led more fulfilling lives, they would not feel the need for life support. They could then die comfortably at home, leaving the attention of the hospitals for those who really need it. 

Homework #31: Comments Three

For Ben: I too had the same question after watching Sicko. It seemed odd that there could be such a perfect system out there that the United States refused to utilize - there had to be some catch. I can understand that there might be long wait times for care, but that definitely seems better in the long run compared to having to pay thousands of dollars. I think you did a good job of displaying the negatives but also the positives, reminding the reader why such a system would be worth having.

For Devin: I thought this was really interesting. It's funny how the majority supports euthanasia for those in dire pain, but most states don't allow it. I like how you supported this claim with your own poll. "The significance of my findings could be that since people are living longer and longer, they are more interested in not dragging out a painful dying experience or a dying when they have lost control of body functions or their minds." I think this is a really good conclusion to your findings. It seems to make sense. Nowadays I believe that people are more content with their lives, making them more ready to accept when their time comes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Ben: Wow, it's great how you were able to include so much detail in this account; it really makes the whole thing feel more personal. "At some points in the conversation, it almost seemed liked she wanted to die, wanted it to be over, so that she could live in heaven with her faith." I thought this sentence did a great job of summing up what the woman you were speaking with had said, and also made clear the way that many Christians might feel about dying. Great job!


From Lindsay (Sister): This was an enlightening piece about life inside a nursing home. Particularly in comparison to your other posts about death and relationships. The two women that you interviewed both created such long lives at the nursing home, yet neither spoke about having relationships with other residents. I wonder how the difference that you bring up, about dying at home, versus being in a nursing home effects the types of relationships that people value at the ends of their lives.


From Bjorn (Exchange Student): I got to say that I am really impressed of your main topic about old people's eventual death anxiety, not because it is a topic hard to come up with but mostly because of your execution of it. To ask questions like that in such a diplomatic way can not be done by everyone, but thanks to that the post is very interesting and appealing to me as a reader.

Homework #30: Illness and Dying - Culminating Experiential Project

            For my entire life I’ve heard the sounds of sirens pulling up across the street, their flashing lights dancing on my walls. Then white beds, three feet high emerge, yellow straps wrapped across the patient’s chest and legs. I had been in to the building once, but not to understand the workings of the nursing home, instead to only to visit and gain what little community service hours I could. Therefore I decided to speak to two patients, questioning them on their own experiences there and their thoughts on dying. 

            The process was actually quite difficult. When I first walked over I had to speak to an administrator on the phone, explaining what I planned to do. She said that it would be easiest if I called her the next morning, after she had a chance to speak with someone about my idea. The next day when I called, she required that a written proposal faxed to her. Eventually I spoke with the social worker of the hospital, who allowed me to speak to two patients of her choice. Deeming it the best I could in this short amount of time, I went.

            While waiting for the social worker to come down and meet me, I read the quote on the wall: “This is not a time for optimism that sees no problems, nor for pessimism that sees no possibilities. It is a time for hope.” Although I found myself agreeing with the statement about optimism and pessimism, I do not believe what these people need is hope. They know they are elderly, their lives more rapidly dwindling. They do not need false hope, instead acceptance. For with acceptance they are able to live out the last of their days fully.

            I had an idea of what I wanted to ask the two patients. The day before we had read the piece about death anxiety. I wanted to learn about their anxiety and suffering. Of course it was a sensitive subject, but I hoped to by the end know if they themselves were afraid to die. But as this was going to be a hard thing to discuss, I decided also to look at the conditions of the nursing home to see if they really felt at home. There are so many sob stories that speak of cruelty done to the elderly and I wanted to find the validity of those stories in this nursing home – not to say that they had already been accused of such a thing. While researching nursing homes, I came across a New York Times article discussing the selection of a nursing home. It states, “More than 60 percent of admissions come from hospitals

. The patient may have broken a hip or had a stroke and now needs rehabilitative care. The hospital is in a hurry to discharge and may move quickly to get the patient moved to an available nursing home bed, regardless of the operator’s quality or reputation.” ¹ Both of my patients spoke of this quick transfer, something that will be discussed later. The article then continued to talk briefly about the relationship between the nurses and patient: “Imagine how much nicer it would be to know the same person will bring your tea each evening and already knows you like sugar in it,” Ms. Benner said. “We know from the evidence out there that a strong relationship between residents and staff consistently leads to better care.” ¹ Quite understandable, I decided to inquire too about the relationship the resident had with the nurses.

            The first woman I was brought to had her son visiting her. He seemed unaware that his mother was being interviewed and a little taken aback when he learned of my presence. Nonetheless we set up on the other side of the room. She sat in a wheel chair hunched over, straining to lift her head to an upright position so she could see me. When I went to shake her hand she offered a claw like hand, barely able to grasp my own. I set up my computer to record the conversation, and set off. I told her she did not have to answer any question she did not want to. She said she had been living there thirteen years. After her open heart surgery the doctor first sent her to a place in the Bronx for two years. She did not want to go to the Bronx because “it was bad back then.” The nine stories of the building amazed her, she repeated it multiple times. Similar to what the NYT article says, she was rushed off somewhere, as they were in a hurry to get her out of the hospital. But as she grew up in Brooklyn, she wanted to return there for her care. Her children had been visiting her in the Bronx but she felt that it was too far for them to travel, hence her move. Her son comes three times a week, her daughter twice a week. The son that lives in Georgia does not visit quite as often, but when he does he stays for about two weeks. Upon asking if their relationship has changed since she came to the nursing home, she said no, they still have a really strong relationship. “We have a party every time they come,” she said, supporting her projection of a good relationship.

            At the very beginning she stated that she loved the nursing home here. When I asked if she had any complaints she replied: “I have no complaints on anybody...I love every one of them.” In the Bronx, she said they never stopped doing anything. Where she is now they do not do too much. “They have trivia almost everyday. Then they have games like throw the ball or the balloon, different things. But the girls work hard. They try to please us. They’re told what to do and they do it to us.” When I asked what her favorite part was, she said she loved everything, she couldn’t decide. I guess the sob story I was looking for wasn’t there, but of course, that’s a good thing.

            We then moved on to medicine. She takes about seven pills, then two Tylenol in the afternoon. “Everything is pills!” Upon asking if she feels like she takes too much medicine, she said no. “It all amounts to something,” she said. She complained about the others who “slow up on everything,” and do not swallow all of their pills at once. She seemed to entirely comply with everything the doctor gave her; to her they could do no wrong. It seems that their generation is fully confident in medicine, that all of this controversy seems to miss them. But then again, who can blame them? They probably see it as their duty, as what is necessary to survive.

            I tried then asking about her religious affiliations, to see if it had altered her experience at all. She replied with a story of the nun who used to live at the nursing home, but she unfortunately had just left for another state. Pointing out the chapel behind us, she described the services they hold on Sundays. I could not help but be a bit disappointed. She did not seem to understand a lot of my questions, and what I was trying to get at. But because of the sensitivity of the subject, I felt that it was not in my place to push.

            When asked what she would be doing if she weren’t sick, she said she had done everything she wanted to do. It was apparent that she had lived a fulfilled life. She went on to describe the big parties they used to have, hanging out right outside of their houses. After hearing this, I asked her if she knew Nietzsche and explained his eternal life. She said that she wouldn’t want to live it again, but I believe she took living it again as changing it. So in terms of the actual idea, yes she would live her life a million times over, because she saw it as perfect.

            I then decided it was time to ask about death. Her only solid reply was, “That’s why I put myself in here...I had to have a woman stay with me in the house. But I said if I go home, I have to go up the stairs, I can’t go up and down the steps, I can’t move around like I’m supposed to move around.  I’ll be like a prisoner upstairs sitting there with a woman. I said go and look for a home and they found this one here.” This surprised me, as we seemed to come to the agreement in class that most people want to die at home. I told her about how a lot of people liked to be at home when they passed, in a place that they felt comfortable in. But she described to me how the nursing home had become her home. She loved it here and it was much better to her than being immobile in her home with a woman she barely knew. “My children come to me,” she said, emphasizing the point that, that was the only reason she might’ve stayed at home. When I asked what she thought about when she was alone she said, “The only time I’m alone is when I go to my bed at night.”

            She is a very sociable person, talking about all the groups she has at the nursing home and the parties she and her friends used to throw. It is clear that she loves her life in the nursing home, contradicting the many stories that one hears. Her relationship with the nurses and doctors was also very strong. She was obviously very found of them as she praised them constantly during her interview. This relationship, just as the NYT article suggests, brought this woman better care and satisfaction.

            After leaving my first interviewee, I walked to the elevator and went up to the fifth floor, where the next resident was already in bed. The elevator doors opened up to white beds on wheels and wheel chairs all holding ghostly white people, with transparent hair. They were all lined up watching the news. Stories of murder flashed across the screen while they all barely seemed to notice that they were watching television. I waited for about 15 minutes, sitting there looking on at all of their faces. One man sat clutching the sides of his chair, staring straight ahead, bug-eyed, the entire time I sat there. The woman to his left sat clutching a baby doll, obviously immersed in her own world. I did feel a bit uncomfortable. The nurses smiled at me, but I was obviously not their main priority. Eventually one came to get me and pointed to a room down the hallway where my next interviewee waited.

            I walked into the room and she immediately yelled at me for not coming at five, like I had said. I patiently explained that I had been there at five, but that the social worker had brought me to somebody else first. Upon realizing that I did not have a chair to sit on, she sent me out to ask a nurse for one, the nurse brought me one and wished me luck with the woman I was about to interview. I braced myself and went back inside the room to start.

            “I am American by naturalization...I am from Antigua,” she said, after asking me why I was there. She had been living at the nursing home eight years, and she had turned 87 the previous Monday. Her family visits twice a week and they talk she said. The nursing home does not clean clothing; therefore her son takes her clothing and washes it for her. In addition he brings her toiletries. When I asked if their relationship had changed, she said that it had gotten better if anything. “I’m here now you know, they know I’m sick and I need every attention.”

            I then asked how she felt about being sick. She said, “Well listen, I am a Christian. First, I believe in God, and he suffered, he died, eh was crucified for me...and therefore, to me, I am suffering...I pray every minute of the day frankly for being here. And I think maybe for a reason, it was an accident I had. I was going to church that Sunday morning.... My son he’s a priest, and he was going to preach that fathers day...I was in front of the car and she was in back of the car...another car came from the other direction...that’s all I remember.”

            She spent four months in the hospital afterwards. When I asked how it was there, she said she barely does know because she was so heavily medicated. “It’s not easy, it is not easy...but with my faith in god, child my faith in God, I can overcome anything.” She said she believes in heaven. “I believe in God, and I know what he’s doing. I know his purpose and I am contented...and that sees me through.” It was obvious to me at this point, that she wanted to discuss further, that it made her feel better. Therefore, I then I asked if she was scared to move on to heaven. She replied, “No let it happen, because I am praying towards. But you know we Christians we are sinners, we come short of God. Therefore we have to pray, father forgive me, forgive me, every second. You know sometimes you worry...I have a fractured hip and arthritis in the shoulders, it is not easy...let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things pass.” She spoke of how sometimes she worries, but then God comes and makes everything better. When this happens, she begs for his forgiveness, embarrassed that she ever doubted him. It was a bit inspiring listening to her, especially after the anxiety of  the death lesson. She had none; she was ready to move on. At some points in the conversation, it almost seemed liked she wanted to die, wanted it to be over, so that she could live in heaven with her faith.

            After the depth of that discussion, I decided to ask her about her medicine intake, to lighten up the mood. She does not take any drastic pills, only one for high blood pressure. Her son’s wife is a nurse, so she is able to go home with him occasionally. “I have a good relationship with people...I make friends easily.” The discussion moved towards her life at the nursing home. At the home she passes out pamphlets about her faith, which she sees as her purpose at the nursing home. Because she is such a “people” person, she explained that she did not mind living at the nursing home, especially with the opportunity to still visit with her son. “Because I am here I can get help...I feel comfortable here. You can see that from this room.” I looked around her room, it was decorated with flowers and picture. She pointed out a plaque that said she was named resident of the year. I could see the pride in her face, until she moved back to her rally of God.

            “So my faith my dear child, my faith in God sees me through...I have to wait and to wait and to wait to be looked after because it’s not easy sitting in that chair...but then when I’m waiting, I say my prayers...I pray for everybody...when you go out there and you see these people you wonder, lord...” On her wrist she showed me the bracelet that she wears. It means, she explained, that if she is to have a heart attack, she does not want to be revived. The person is to leave her, and let her die, as she sees it as God’s intention. I asked this woman too then, about Nietzsche’s theory. “Well if it come to the point, but I would be twisted...I live it one time and that would be enough for me...I don’t push my luck with God...I think that’s what he meant it to be...he knows everything from the time we are born...he knows how many hairs are on my head and how long I have to live. So when that time come, I accept it.”

            This woman clearly was not anxious to die but instead embraced it. While to most people death is the enemy, and to Christians too, despite the fact that they believe in heaven, this resident was able to accept it. Religion obviously does play a big role in your suffering at the end of life. She repeated multiple times how she prays to God, asking him for forgiveness when she worries, asking him for help. In some way, she believes she is saved from the pain and suffering of others, because she probably is suffering less than those around her, because she convinces herself otherwise. The first interviewee too, despite the fact that most people would suffer less dying at home, felt that she should instead die in a nursing home. For her, her home was no longer a home with a random nurse living with her as opposed to her children. Instead she chose to come to a community in which she feels she can still function and see her children. This nursing home was the right place for both of them because they were able to make their own home out of it. At the start of their hospitalized career, both of them stayed in places that they were not fond of. Their experiences really support the ideas shared in the NYT article. The hospitals in which they were wanted them out, and they went, but not to places that had an enriching environment for them. But soon enough they found a place where their relationships with the people there blossomed, and they were able to find a place for themselves. As much as we choose to look down upon the care for the elderly, perhaps we need to ask them what they think. For what I have found is, they made their place and enjoy it. They have help when they need it, and for some, God to guide them through it.

           

Works Cited

¹ Konrad, Welacia, Stressful but Vital: Picking a Nursing Home (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/20/health/20patient.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&ref=nursinghomes)

Homework #29: Reading and Noting Basic Material

Facing Terminal Illness

            As a child we deem ourselves invincible, nothing can defeat us. As time goes on we scrap our knee or attract a cough, our invincibility faltering. But as always, we get better and convince ourselves that our bodies can always heal us. When the time comes that a terminal illness engulfs us, it is a hard thing to come to terms with. We may deny it, believing that if we do not acknowledge its existence, it will never fully blossom. But the disease sits there and slowly eats away at us until there is no denying it, we are not invincible.

            When Beth, our guest speaker, came in, she spoke of her husband who had died of cancer. Two years before his diagnosis he began to look weak and tired. People would pull her aside and ask her if he was alright, for his appearance worried them. Her husband Erik refused to go to a doctor. He believed that he was fine, that he could overcome whatever he was battling. Over the two-year period he lost muscle mass, and weight, coughing all the time. It became so treacherous that he could no longer sleep lying down but instead had to sleep bent over a table. At last he found that he could no longer deny it, he was ill. Illness is a hard thing to accept. We want to believe that we’ll get better or that our mind is only playing tricks on us. But maybe it is better to not face the illness, because when we do the world of machine life and medicine can take over, possibly leaving us in an even worse state.

Isolation

            It is clear to us than when we are severely ill, we go to the hospital. There is no question about it, going to the hospital is a customary thing. Indeed it continues: as we become elderly it only seems right to move into a nursing home, letting the healthy care for us. But why must it be so? These institutions build walls, both figuratively and literally, around us, holding us in. The sick are isolated, no longer part of a functioning society, only part of their very own. When we see or realize the disability of another person, we stigmatize them. We isolate ourselves too in our very own society, from those who do not fit our requirements for displacement. In Stigma and Social Identity by Erving Goffman, he speaks of the social isolation that we create. When we meet with someone we have internalized assumptions of which we are not necessarily aware. If the person does not meet this assumption we immediately stigmatized them, in other words we find them inferior. While some are unaware of their negative attribute, others are. They usually feel shame and embarrassment towards their attribute, deeming themselves abnormal. It is important to realize however, that these attributes are not negative in every situation; it all depends on the “normal” point of view. One person states, “I took a hand glass and went to a long mirror to look at myself, and I went alone. I didn’t want anyone...to know how I felt when I saw myself for the first time,” (p. 7). The isolated feel self hate, wishing that they would not too accept their own difference. If we did not isolate the ill and dying, then perhaps we would no longer feel shame upon realizing that we identify more with the abnormal than normal.

Paying for Medical Care

            Insurance by itself has developed tremendously over the years, initially used by the Babylonian merchants to insure their product. By the time it reached America the Europeans had already begun the idea of insuring the disabled. While America insured their homes against fire, medical insurance was a ways off. Americans paid for their health services through fee for service. But as hospitals advanced with more sanitary techniques and specialized education for doctors, everything became more expensive. Hospitals had many patients for whom they care, who could not actually pay the bill for the service received. Determined to fight bankruptcy, a Texan doctor approached the teachers of Dallas. He promised 20 days of free care for each of them if they all paid 50 cents every month to the hospital. This allowed enough money to flow into the hospital and provided care for the few teachers that actually needed it. Following this model, private insurers began to focus on large workforces to provide both money and limited care.

            Moving forward into the 2000’s, health care is under reform. The profit incentive private insurers of before have succeeded in denying millions of Americans health insurance and preventing thousands more of insured Americans from obtaining sufficient care, proven by Michael Moore’s Sicko. President Obama’s health care reform aims to provide more valid care for Americans. At the moment 45 million plus lack health insurance, while Obama’s idea plans to provide it for 32 million more through the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Anyone who wants health care will be provided with it, no matter his or her physical state of being. Medicaid will be opened up more freely to the poor, offering care to those who were before denied. Insurance exchanges will be implemented to aid people in finding affordable health insurance. These exchanges will be run by nonprofit organizations in every state and have certain standards which the state must meet. Although a complicated plan, we can only hope that it attempts to provide a solution for the mess of a health care system we currently have.

Staff of Washington Post, Landmark, Public Affairs; New York 2010

The Process of Dying

            Death itself is a puzzling thing – something that we cannot know much about. Dying however is a completely different story, as we have the conscious state of dying still among us, their suffering visible. While one can always choose to die in the hospital, Beth Bernett chose home hospice care. She took care of her husband, giving him medicine when the pain was too much to handle, fetching him water when it seemed to be the only thing he desired. She said it was hard, but that those were the best days of their marriage. It was different, seeing him with his skin stretched across his face, the bones of skeleton prominent. Dying is clearly something of suffering, but also a time of reflection. She explained how at 4 or 5 in the morning she noticed the indescribable stillness come over the room. The crying came later, but at that moment nothing could break her. She stated that she would never do it any other way, for she felt that this was what was right for her family.

            Sharon R. Kaufman however in And a Time to Die: How American Hospitals Shape the End of Life demonstrates the process of dying in a hospital ward. She believes that the culture of the hospital shapes the way a person dies. While Erik, Beth’s husband had a peaceful death in a home that he knew well, those in hospitals tend to die a more painful death. Death is not something accepted in a hospital; the human body is worked on, poked and prodded until it no longer responds in any way to the treatment applied. It is only then when death is accepted, as there is no way to draw out the suffering any longer. Kaufman states, “Approximately one-quarter of all hospitalized patients are treated in intensive care or cardiac care units before they die,” (p. 25). The human body is no longer human in the dying process of a hospital, instead a machine that needs tinkering with, even when there is no hope. The communication between doctor and patient falters, leaving a sense of loneliness and lack of control. Accepting death is a hard thing on its own, but the environment of one’s process of dying seems to define the death of the person even more greatly, determining their ultimate suffering.

Being Sick

            Every single person has been sick once in his or her life, whether it was a defining moment or not. But it            does leave a sense of vulnerability, a what if. After interviewing my parents they both said that when sick they find a place to be apart and to rest. The habits of the sick are truly defined by our institutions. If we did not have hospitals and nursing homes for the sick to be, would we find it just as much necessary to find a place to isolate ourselves even with the common head cold? Of course we do not want to infect others and rest proves to be the best antidote, but why must be separate ourselves from those whom we love? We as people need to reevaluate how we see the sick. Death has become such a prominent enemy that we have machines fight it off, even when the life being saved might no longer be worth living.

            The idea of being sick, of missing school is of course always intriguing. But once the sickness overwhelms the body it is hard to find a reason for why this might be better than the alternative from which it releases you. When we are ill it seems to be a point of reflection, of realizing how great it is to be healthy. We deny our sicknesses, wishing that we too could be part of the fun, leaving behind the pity and embarrassment of being disabled. I went to the eye doctor the other day because I found I had been having trouble seeing things far away. I sat in the chair waiting for her to test my eyes and I realized that I was nervous. It puzzled me, the worst thing that could happen would be that I needed glasses. But for some reason I wished that I were not sitting in that chair, awaiting a diagnosis. It was apparent that I found glasses something different, a negative attribute as Goffman would see it. I never looked down at anyone with glasses, at points I envied them, wishing that I too could have a pair. But it was the realization that it was actually happening, that worried me so much. I remembered as kid trying on my parents glasses thinking wow, I never can get glasses, they don’t look good on me. Or sitting with my friends complaining about getting contacts, when I would smartly reply that I didn’t need them. To view the sick, to pity them, is very different than when you become one of them. 

Homework #28: Comments

For Devin: I enjoyed your post particularly because you did not completely focus on Gloria's current state, but instead reminisced on how she used to be. For example that she was married and how you used to go the store for her. It's apparent that even though she is slowly reaching the end of her life, you are still able to remember that she is a person and lived a fulfilled life. I think a lot of times our society hides the ill and dying and forgets that they too used to carry out a normal, routine life. Overall I really like how you wrote this post, it demonstrated your emotions and internal thoughts throughout the entire experience.

For Ben: " In the beginning, visiting him was a little bit awkward because I was not really sure how I should act."

I think this is a really interesting line because you are very honest about how you were feeling. I think a lot of times people do not want to admit that it was weird seeing someone they were so close with in a completely different state. You also seem to really capture this point when you say:

"Not to say that they weren't, but there is no way that they could have been as happy as they looked knowing that their old friend was going to die soon."

You just really seemed to approach the whole situation realistically and I think it showed in your writing. I liked this post a lot, good job!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Linday (Sister):

I think you get to an interesting dichotomy here in your internal processing and that is how class plays a role in our relationships to aging people, and particularly those in our families. 

You say, "it seems impossible that such a beautiful place can exist in which the old can reside while we complain about our health care system." 

You really draw the reader down the halls with you as you peek in the intricate rooms and consider what life and your relation to illness and age would have been had grandma lived with us.

From Bjorn (Exchange Student): I really liked your environmental descriptions which made it very easy to "be" in the situation described.

Quotes like : "Tired and honestly not in the mood to visit my grandmother, we pulled up to the castle-like estate in which she resides. It seems impossible that such a beautiful place can exist in which the old can reside while we complain about our health care system."

not only gives you a picture of what your reading, but also an insight in the social problems america has to deal with, and its especially interesting for me as a foreigner to get an insight about the american health care system since the way they do it where im from is very different.

bjorn.


From Devin: I really liked the honest way you expressed your feelings about visiting your grandmother in the nursing home. The fact that she wasn’t there because she had scheduled an appointment at the same time as your visit says a lot about how the old are just not living
in the same world, and that this fact makes dealing with them take a lot of effort. It was interesting hearing about what a complicated maze the place is considering it is housing people whose minds aren’t at their peak and about your father’s comments on the pill box being complicated too. Both were good insights on how we don’t seem to design things for the elderly with them in mind. I also liked your line about your grandmother having a boyfriend and there not being any pictures of him among all the pictures of her family. I think the idea was that she would not have thought that it would have been proper to have his picture there. It was also funny that you only found three pictures of yourself, and I think it is just human nature to look for pictures of ourselves in that situation. The best part I thought was your description of how you just wanted to get out of the atmosphere of age and illness and thoughts of dying, even saying that you did not want to touch anything there. I understand completely. You just didn’t want any of that atmosphere to infect you or even rub off on you in any way. Your comments on sitting with her when she was opening her presents were insightful too. But why was she so ignorant when she said she was surprised things weren’t made in China when most things are now? Maybe the presents were expensive ones, and her comments were insulting. Anyway the line about her being left with people “who smirk after her comments and dread going to visit her” made me hope that this is not what is in store for all of us as we get up there in age. It probably is though. Great job.

Homework #27: Visiting an Unwell Person

            Not particularly ill, my grandmother lives in a nursing home in New Jersey. Her second husband moved there after his Alzheimer’s became severe and she followed him, maybe not the best decision. On the car ride home my parents speculated about how it would have been if they had instead just had her move in with us, as opposed to the nursing home. They believed that it would have been better for her, that living in a nursing home with a group of ill people made her body give up and settle for the fate of those around her.

            Tired and honestly not in the mood to visit my grandmother, we pulled up to the castle-like estate in which she resides. It seems impossible that such a beautiful place can exist in which the old can reside while we complain about our health care system. Through the automatic doors we approached the desk and asked for the keys to my grandmother’s apartment. Unfortunately her nail appointment was rescheduled, leading to her absence during my visit. With age my grandmother has begun to lose her memory, resulting in a phone call to maintenance to let us into her apartment – she had forgotten to leave us keys. We walked along the hallway to the elevators, my parents remarking on how complicated the set up was considering the home houses the ill. I hadn’t been there in years so I scanned the rooms as we raced through them. In the one with wooden tables covered in completed puzzles, I noticed a Wii lying underneath the flat screen television. Why I wonder, do these people have a need for a video gaming device, when I do not even have one?

             We managed to gain access into the apartment after a series of identical hallways and elevators. Everything was perfectly aligned, not a single item out of place. My mother pulled out the pillbox, the reason for our visit. Each little compartment was labeled with a day of the week. My father noted that the week went backwards, and how confusing that must be. In the scheme of things, it appears that as much as we try to assist the ill and dying, we tend to forget for whom we are making the objects. While my mother wrote out specific instructions for her own mother I continued to explore the apartment. The walls and tables were lined with pictures of my family. I only found about three pictures of myself, the rest containing my ten other cousins. Those pictures appeared to be the only things she had left. Of course my grandmother being a proper woman in her mind has a boyfriend, but there were no pictures of him. The ill and dying hold on to those relationships, which they value most. My grandmother obviously stakes a lot of her emotion in us: her children and grandchildren. It is very much like what Beth said, “Relationships make it bearable to die.”

            After ransacking her house searching for family photos, we left. I was happy to finally get out of the building; I was scared to touch anything. I am not sure why, I am not a mysophobe, but it just gave me a weird feeling. I could not get the image out of my head of an old wrinkly person touching the same thing I was touching. The thought of their leathery skin kept me walking straight ahead with my hands glued to my sides. I am not scared of old people, maybe of aging, or the thought of disease, but it confused me as to why I was so nervous to be around them. As much as I hate to admit it, I found myself being happy that I was separated from the ill and dying, able to live without a constant fear of catching some heinous disease. I am sure I am no more likely to catch something in a nursing home than out in the world, but the whole concept is built up in our minds since we are children. Why was it such a burden for me to go visit my grandmother? She was not actually there, but I was relieved about it. I knew that I would not have to endure another conversation that had no direction.

            During our family Christmas party I sat next to my grandmother as she opened up her many gifts. Out of her habitat she appeared even more clueless, uttering nonsense just to talk, just to feel like she was being heard. Each shirt that she unwrapped she passed to me, demanding that I feel how soft the fabric was. She then would look at the tag and exclaim where the shirt was made, noting that she was surprised it wasn’t made in China. The rest of us exchanged glances, laughing at her ignorance. The time of respecting our elders has passed, and instead we put them in institutions, send them away, and build up walls in our minds, blocking them out. Most things made for them we make confusing, for why respect our audience if we normally tend to block this particular group out? My grandmother is only left with her relationships, ones with people who smirk after her comments and dread going to visit her. Maybe if she had come to live with us instead of going to the nursing home I would have a better relationship with her. Maybe I would better be able to understand illness and dying, instead of avoiding it at all costs. We need to begin embracing illness and dying because how else can we overcome this unnecessary barriers of fear?

Homework #26: Looking Back and Forward in Unit

The American health care system insures people, but does not necessarily provide the assistance promised. (Sicko)

Doctors sometimes continue care in order to make the family feel better and have it appear as if they tried, even if the life can no longer be saved. (Near Death)

While most doctors tend to separate themselves from the patient, it can be emotionally beneficial to know the patient because it gives you more motivation to cure them. (Mountains Beyond Mountains)

In the medical field it is important to make an effort, because trying and failing is always better than not trying at all. (Mountains Beyond Mountains)

An age makes no distinction of what a person can handle; when it comes to illness and dying we must choose whom we believe has the emotional strength to support those suffering. (Beth Bernett)

            It is hard to decide which source was most effective, as they each displayed illness and dying in different ways. I believe my favorite was the guest speaker, Beth. While movies are interesting and display images along with their words, having a real human being in the room made the information much more real. Movies can exaggerate and twist the facts, but feeling the energy of a person and understanding their emotional process is much more beneficial. Her story seemed more relatable and personal than those on the television. It was a two sided conversation, one in which questions were welcomed. In a film that opportunity is not there, instead one is left with questions and can easily be deceived.

            Reading a book was also a good source of illness and dying imagery. The in depth details help create one’s own personal image of the situation. At times Mountains Beyond Mountains was a bit boring and repetitive, but it painted a clear picture of illness and dying. All the information packed into the book would have been too much for a movie. By reading the book, the reader spends more time with Paul Farmer than somebody watching a movie would, allowing the reader to analyze his tactics. One begins to understand why Farmer chooses to work with his patients in such a unique way. A book offers a focused subject that was definitely helpful for this unit.

            I think it would be really interesting to learn about socialized medicine. Michael Moore displays it as this great thing that the United States should adopt, but of course there must be some reason why we have not. In order to find out more about this, we should look at countries that do have socialized health care and investigate how it works – who it does and doesn’t benefit. Exploring this is an exploration of our alternatives. If we are to live in the United States with our current health care, we should understand why we have chosen to continue living so, besides its profit motives. It might also be interesting to look at nursing homes, where a lot of the ill and dying live together in confinement. We could visit one of them or find articles that discuss the workings of nursing homes. So far everything has been focused on hospitals and doctors, but I believe it is also important to look at how we live once we are elderly or already diagnosed.