Homework #55: Culminating Project

Funerals: Then and Now Video

When interviewing a funeral director on his experience in the funeral industry, he spoke many times of how the industry has changed and the aspects that are now different. Mitford's book: The American Way of Death Revisited he felt criticised the industry as it was, not as it is today, while also exploiting the details of the past industry. Therefore I decided to ask my parents, people who lived both in the time of Mitford's original publishing and in modern times, about their experiences with the change in the industry. My father's evidence was purely anecdotal, as he talked about the haunted house - like funeral that he attended as a child, in comparison with the celebratory ceremony surrounding the death of his cousin, years later. The most recent funerals he states have been more family run, based around grieving the deceased. Thus the industry has changed. Religion played a stronger role in the ceremony decades ago, which presumably lead to the strictness and stress of the situation. Having the person look perfect through embalming, the burial spot, the priest, everything added up in cost and would have to be perfect, in order to ensure a rightful passage into the next life. In a young boy's eyes this could appear as a haunted house, carrying away a loved one. However as time passed, the focus seemed to switch to a more grief-like ceremony. People began celebrating the life of the person rather than obsessing over the religious ceremonies that revolve around the afterlife. People began to fear death less, which would explain the switch from preparing for the next life to celebrating the life lived. The fear of death in society will most likely never be eliminated, however society's way of grieving shifts.

My mother expressed similar opinions to my father in her comparison of funerals. Unlike my father however she brought up the idea of children. She felt that when she was growing up, children were less likely to attend the funerals, because adults believed they could not handle it, while now children are more willingly brought into the ceremonies. This again supports the idea that people's view of death, perhaps their fear of it, has shifted. It is no longer such a monstrous thing that it must be kept from a child, but instead something that they need to acknowledge, even at a young age. The idea of celebrating the person was also brought up, just as it had been by my father. People have begun to accept the fact that death is unavoidable, thus to deal with this pain, they celebrate the life lived. However my mother did express an experience that was quite the contrary. One funeral that she attended this year in fact had been very impersonal. The man's name was barely uttered during the ceremony because of its religious connotations. Thus in this respect, maybe not all have come to accept the reality of death. Possibly it is that people have become less religious, that has helped develop this acceptance of death and celebration of life. But who is to say that those who are religious fear death? While the industry has changed, most likely due to an acceptance of death and shift in the attitude towards religion, it has also very must stayed the same. There will always be the traditional funeral of my parents' childhood among the big celebrations of life that have begun to appear.